Bio
Lloyd Bonifide, 68 is a Korean War veteran who owns a heating and plumbing company of 30 employees. Bonifide is a very proud war veteran who feels everyone owes him something for his service to his country. On Veteran's Day, he went to Socias Restaurant in Alhambra and was upset that they had no 10% discount for veterans so he complained to the manager. He was further upset that the manager was a "Jap". Further the "little monkey put his hands on me and no monkey puts a hand on me!" So Lloyd returned to the restaurant to protest the lack of veteran's discount.
Lloyd also was enfuriated that he was harassed during the Gas Boycott. As a Korean War veteran (again) he did not feel any one had the right to tell him anything including telling him to not buy gas. Lloyd is always full of himself as a veteran who was imjured when an ammo site blew up injuring his foot. So when he found out that the three POW's from Bosnia got all this attention and received Purple Hearts and other medals "for not being able to read a map and getting captured." His constant referral to the three war heroes as "monkeys" caused an uproar among Phil's listeners.
Lloyd shared a room with a friend of 40 years on a Mexico golfing excursion. When he woke up one morning, there were coins, matchbooks and paper clips on the bed around him. The friend said he threw the stuff at Lloyd because he was snoring (which he denies). Lloyd said it was an assault on him, and the friend should watch out, because as a combat veteran, he has a certain reflexive reaction. Lloyd then grabbed a handful of shirt and told the friend if he ever did it again, he'd give him a big case of "what for", "no monkey puts his hands on me". The friend further insulted Lloyd by saying he needs therapy. As an example of the reflexive reaction, Lloyd said how his grandson jumped on his back, and Lloyd went into a reflexive violent mode and did a ju-jitsu throw and the grandson hit the wall, bounced once, bounced off the lower ledge, broke thru a screen, and came to rest on a sofa.
Other things bother Lloyd also. He was recently cut off on the road by a car with one of those Christian fish metal things on the back of the car. He was so upset that he followed the car and when it parked, he pried the fish off the car. He started doing it to all the "fish monkeys" that did not act Christian and cuts a Korean war veteran off on the road.
Lloyd is a staunch defender of senior citizens rights to drive, and feels they are wrongfully blamed for accidents that are not their fault. Once his garage door failed to open and he drove his car through the garage door, causing over $3,000 in damage to his vehicle. Even after the people from Elite Auto Service (who installed the garage door) confirmed that the remote did not work, people still made snide remarks about senior drivers. Lloyd insists it was faulty equipment that caused the damage. Plus, he wasn't at fault in any of the 20 accidents he's had, including the six fatalities. Callers who stated that Lloyd caused the damage to his own car by driving through the door were brushed off and told they were giving him "crazy talk."
Because of his outrage about the controversial Calvin Klein ads in New York, Lloyd organized protests against the pornographic ads. He asked people to come to the Alhambra Youth Center and bring their CK underwear. They held a bonfire to burn the underwear in protest. In further protest, Bonifide wanted all people to protest by not wearing underwear. He directed all 30 of his employees to not wear underwear. Lloyd told Phil it was pretty obvious to tell if his male employees were complying with his orders. lloyd had to use on of his five foot pipes to surreptiously lift the skirts of his female employees to ensure that were complying with his wishes. You can imagine the phone calls!
Lloyd Bonafide's wife was taking a painting and sculpture class that had a 55/60-year-old nude male model. Lloyd objected because he was abnormally endowed (the size of a water buffalo). His wife did sketches and a clay sculpture of him. When Lloyd found out about the sculpture, he blacked out, drove down to the sculpture classroom and woke upholding the snapped off "hangy thing" in his right hand. The clay sculpture was 12 inches high, and the member was 7 ½ inches long - Lloyd figured the guy's member was 4 feet long! - Phil thinks the wife just made a mistake. Lloyd thinks his wife isn't satisfied with the pipe he can lay, and wants someone who can bring some heavier lumber to the construction site.
One of Lloyd's most recent exploits was designing a video game, Grandpa's Attic. The man his daughter married is in the Video Game industry and wouldn't even take a look at it and help Lloyd get the game produced due to its rather controversial nature. In the game, the players assume the rolls of children and explore Grandpa's attic to uncover gold doubloons, funny hats, a loaded shotgun, and a perverted uncle. "...the lights come back on, the uncle is gone from the screen, and both children have been fully molested."
Road Rage Incidents
Threw a flaming newspaper at a driver that cut him off.
Threw a cat a driver that cut him off. The driver pulled over, gave Lloyd back the cat, and shook his hand.
Sent a women driving a SUV into a river, because she was tailgating him.
Followed a women who drove in the perimeter of his R. V. to a 76 Station and grabbed a handful of her blouse.
Breaking Off Hold
One should not fool with Lloyd or make fun of his abilities, because he showed Phil that he could fight his way out of hold which he did several times to Phil's chagrin. Shortly after Phil announces that Lloyd has been put on hold you will hear: "YEEAAAAAAAHHH, I fought my way off of hold!"
More Lloyd Bonafide
| 
